Flying With Christ, part 2

Rewind a couple of weeks before the retreat... the director of the retreat had asked me to give a short devotion with love as the theme for one of our training meetings. My first thought was that I would just find a good one already written in one of my many books. After all, I am certainly no expert on unconditional or 'agape' love. Surely Beth Moore or Elizabeth George would have more insight than me. But after giving it some thought, I decided to write a personal devotion based on my hopes for the upcoming trip. Hear my heart:

Let me begin by reading to you a favorite and familiar passage from 1 Corinthians chapter 13 (NIV):

"4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails."

And for a slightly different perspective, I'd like to share those same verses from not-so-literal translation, the Message:

"4Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, 5Doesn't force itself on others, isn't always 'me first', doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 6Doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 7Puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. 8Love never dies."

So there you have it, straight from THE Source...that's what love looks like in a practical sort of way. Here's the problem (and this where it gets personal)... I am not always patient or kind; I can be prideful and rude and demanding; I've been known to 'fly off the handle', even at little things! And you can ask my kids about this one... I'm certainly not one who 'puts up with anything'.

In fact, knowing myself as well as I do (and that can be painful at times), I am almost certain that on this retreat there may be someone who gets on my nerves, or rubs me the wrong way, or just downright irritates me to no end (now time will tell if that someone is a youth or grown-up)! Or there may be a circumstance or situation that might make me prone to feeling hopeless or seeing the worst instead of the best. Lack of sleep and no heat or hot water comes to mind.

Don't worry, though, I'm really not that bad. I can actually do well at finding the humor in things most of the time, and I usually reserve my hissy fits, glaring looks, and ugly words for my immediate family (or occasionally the telemarketer who call very early on a Saturday morning or the person who pulls out in front of me when there is not a car for miles behind me...)

So how can 'I' do it? How can 'I' spend four days loving people I don't even know, who may make weird noises in their sleep and keep me up at night, or hog the bathroom mirror, or say or do something else that makes me want to roll my eyes and give them a sideways glance or breathe a heavy, disgusted sigh?

Consequently, it is in knowing my own weakness and imperfection when it comes to loving others that also makes me cling to my Source of strength... It is God loving through me! The ability to love when I don't feel like it or can't see any good reason why I should... that comes from the One who is love Himself! I can love, because He first loved me. I can show love to others, because His Spirit is within me.

Hebrews 10:24 says, "And let us spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Now, that 'spurring' part sounds a bit painful to me, (I'm thinking sharp pointed star on a cowboy boot) but my prayer for you and for me is that we will lift one another up and find ways to encourage one another to love... that we will be 'Jesus with skin on', that others will know we are His disciples by our love for each other... and not just on this weekend, but wherever and with whomever we find ourselves.

God is love. Tap into the Source!


So how did the weekend go? Did I love like Jesus? Well, sort of. I had one instance where 'the mom' in me surfaced by way of a stern look and a "get-your-fanny-moving-now!" kind of voice. However, this actually led to a somewhat meaningful lesson on the importance of inner beauty verses worrying too much about outward appearances. Then there was the girl who belched all the time... loudly and during meals. Really cute girl, but totally unattractive habit. I bit my tongue about that one. Then there was the adult who made a very public, sarcastic comment to the director who happens to be a close personal friend of mine. Yes, my hackles stood up, but I remained silent.

So the Holy Spirit was faithful, and by His grace I was able to maintain a smile and a spirit of generosity. Now that I am home, I wonder why I can't seem to do the same with my own precious girls. But that is a topic for another day...

Flying With Christ

This past weekend, I had the awesome privilege of serving at a girl's weekend retreat. The whole experience was not new to me as I have both attended and served at a similar retreat for adults. However, spending three days with 18 girls did make for a different kind of experience. I was no doubt reminded just how much a teenage girl can talk and eat, how much time they can spend in front of the mirror, and how hard it can be to wake them up, especially early in the morning! On the other hand, they were full of energy and fun, especially when it was time to sing and share. Each one was so unique and beautiful, creative and just plain real.

I honestly could not have asked for a better team of adults to share in this amazing opportunity. And the girls who attended, ranging in age from high school sophomore to college freshman, were just the ones God had in mind. It was obvious by the way that God worked in them (and the rest of us) throughout the weekend and by their testimony at the end of the three days.

I know that for some, it was a life-changing event... they will never be the same. For others, they will leave this mountain-top experience and slip back into the valley as soon as they return home and the routine begins again. They may even wonder if the weekend really happened the way they remembered. Even with the best of intentions, it is so easy to forget when the day-to-day stresses press in all around. I know this from personal experience. I only pray that our faithful God who brought them to this place will ever remind them of His love for them and continue to draw each one closer to Himself (myself included).

As for the details of the retreat, I can say that the food was incredible, as it always is at these retreats. The sleeping accommodations were comfortable, even if they were metal bunk beds (think 4-H camp). Actually, I was quite shocked and pleasantly surprised to arrive at camp to find the dorms completely renovated with new bathroom facilities (including full size potties and more sinks) and adequate heat. The rest of camp was the same, which gave me a great sense of familiarity and peace. The speakers were hand-picked by the Lord Himself, so that the information and experiences shared were relevant and powerful. The entire weekend was highlighted by selfless service, acts of kindness, and abundant agape. I left the weekend feeling spiritually renewed, but physically tired. I don't think I'm fully recovered and rested yet, but it was so worth it!

One more detail... it snowed for the first time in the history of this retreat. The girls were thrilled, and it made the camp quite serene, aside from hurtling snowballs and shrill voices. Just another little awesome display of love from the Heavenly Father...

Better Late Than Never

My first entry... what should I write? Well, maybe I should start by saying that I plan to be more consistent and diligent this go round with blogging. In my last attempt, I only made 2 entries in a year. I had hopes to start this blog on January 1, but I am late as usual. Oh well...

My DH seems to understand my "lateness", even though it is his greatest pet peeve. He has even made the observation that my reluctance to just sit down and blog is a result of my perfectionism... if I can't do it perfect, then why take the time? So instead, I procrastinate. Over the years, I have come to realize that there is a direct correlation between my perfectionist tendencies and my procrastination. I put off things until I feel that I have enough time to do them 'right'. Ha! With homeschooling 2 children and running a household, when will I ever have enough time?

So here I am with a new perspective. I am determined to share my joys and struggles, to capture the moments of life with my precious family and friends, even if I don't express my thoughts exactly the way I want. Now, I may read this entry 3 or 4 times before I finally decide to publish it (sick, isn't it?), but hopefully with time, I will just put it out there without a second thought... or maybe just one proofread.

So, for those of you who may find yourself reading my blog, I hope that you will be blessed, even if it is just to laugh at how ridiculous I can be...